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Sacred Marriage and the Kingdom of Heaven

By Cynthia Avens

When you make the two into One,
when you make the inner like the outer
and the high like the low,
when you make male and female into a single One,
so that the male is not male and the female is not female…
then you will enter into the Kingdom.

The Gospel of Thomas, translated by Jean-Yves LeLoup

This morning as I was reading one of my favorite passages in the Gospel of Thomas, I began to reflect on the connection between the Sacred Marriage – “when you make male and female into a single One” – and the Kingdom that is central to the spiritual vision of Christ. The Sacred Marriage and the Kingdom of Heaven are analogous terms for a state of consciousness; they both symbolize the transformed consciousness that is described in these verses from the Gospel of Thomas. To “make the two into One” is to achieve the nondual state of consciousness. This is the experience of advaita as it is termed in Sanskrit, the achievement of higher consciousness that is signified by the opening of “the third eye.” To “make the inner like the outer” refers to the uniting of these two aspects of consciousness – the Kingdom is both inside and outside at the same time. The Sacred Marriage must take place both inwardly and outwardly.

The first step in enacting the Sacred Marriage is the inner union of masculine and feminine – “so that the male is not male and the female is not female.” In the terminology of Carl Jung, the man must integrate his “inner woman”– the anima – and the woman must integrate her “inner man” – the animus. It is only out of this state of inner wholeness that one can truly love another. “Love” that does not proceed from this state of unified consciousness is not truly love at all, but is instead the need to find the missing half of one’s self in another person. This leads to a narcissistic, compulsive attachment to the other rather than the self-transcending love of sacred partnership. When both partners are whole persons, they can then join in a union of nondual consciousness. The inner and the outer Sacred Marriage lead to the entry into the Kingdom.

Another requirement for entering the Kingdom is to make “the high like the low” – the uniting of heaven and earth within human consciousness. Sacred Marriage encompasses both the spiritual and physical aspects of life. Sexual activity within a loving relationship is a primary expression of this union of spirit and body. Physical union between partners who truly love each other reflects the divine union of the soul and God, as the outer Beloved mirrors the Beloved within. Lovemaking is an essential element of Sacred Marriage because it unites all the dimensions: the inner and outer, the high and the low, and the male and female.

The famous yin-yang symbol is a beautiful image of the Sacred Marriage. Jean- Yves LeLoup refers to the “yin-yang circle which draws the whole universe into the rhythms of its wedding.” Within the circle the yin and yang unite as feminine and masculine, and also unite as outer and inner for each contains the essence of the other within it. This union results in a dynamic balance as the energy circulates between the two and around the One, flowing into the world as the creative “dance of Life.” This is the energy that we participate in when we consciously work toward attaining Sacred Marriage.

The yin-yang image is also a powerful symbol of ChristoSophia, the Word and Wisdom that formed the creative matrix for the manifestation of the world. The reference in Proverbs 8:30 that describes Sophia as co-creator with God in her role as “master craftsman” is mirrored in the reference in John 1:3 to Christ for “all things were made through him.” It is the Sacred Marriage of Christ and Sophia – the ChristoSophia union – that gives birth to the cosmos. It is when we emulate the Sacred Marriage in our own lives that we may enter into their Kingdom.


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The Sacred Marriage must take place both inwardly and outwardly. The first step in enacting the Sacred Marriage is the inner union of masculine and feminine – “so that the male is not male and the female is
not female.”